Friday, January 19, 2018

The Battle Belongs to the Lord!

Sometimes you go on retreats or to conferences and it is like a mountain top experience, then you enter back into the real world and nothing really changes. I do not feel that is the case with the Encounter conference I went to two weeks ago. I truly believe it was life-changing and the right timing for me. It has been two weeks so I've had some time to process and start applying what was imparted to me at the conference.

If you haven't yet watched the "Fearless" Documentary", I would seriously recommend it! The guys who started Encounter ministries and put on the Encounter conference, were on it. I cried the first time I saw it. I was so moved to see Catholics doing "Power Evangelism" (a term coined by the late John Wimber). Tom and I were big followers of John Wimber 20 year ago and part of the reason we left the Catholic Church was because we wanted to "do the stuff" like Wimber talked about. Twenty years ago, it didn't seem like the Catholic Church was open to that and it seemed like too big of a ship to turn around so we left and joined the Vineyard church. Wimber is the one that started the Association of Vineyard Churches. I applaud Fr. Mathias and Patrick, the founders of Encounter, that they remained Catholic even though they received an impartation through Randy Clark after reading his book, There is More. Randy Clark is a Protestant. He started the ministry Global Awakening that crosses denominational lines. He even wrote a book recently with Dr. Mary Healy (a Catholic professor at Sacred Heart Major Seminary) called Spiritual Gifts Handbook. Saying that I am excited about what I see happening right now in the Church is an understatement!

Anyway, I'm going to be real now, I was desperate by the time the conference came around. I have a heart for evangelization and a strong desire to reach the people around me but I also realized that things needed to change in my life and in my family first. 

As many of you know, I have 6 kids. My oldest is 24 and my youngest is about to turn 5. Just because I've been open to life doesn't mean it has been easy! By the time number 6 came around, I was tired and didn't feel I had much more to give. Number 6 also happened to be our first boy. I feel he isn't just one boy, but ten boys rolled up in one!

Also, since we moved to Indiana, even though it has been a good thing for our family, it has not been without it's share of stress. I think it has especially been hard on Isaac. That first year he would constantly say he missed Florida, he wanted to go back to his "red" house, he wanted to go to Disney World, etc. I think all the grief he was experiencing was also causing him to act out.

Anyway, in the last year or so, things have really spiraled out of control in our home. I don't know if it was the stress of moving here or we just needed a good house blessing (I've been told that a very violent family lived in our house before us) or both. 

To give you an idea of what was going on, there was no peace in our home. My children were constantly fighting, bickering, complaining and being disrespectful. My youngest two were especially out of control. The defiance and disrespect was off the charts! I honestly did not look forward to waking up each morning knowing what I would probably be dealing with. I was at a loss as to what to do. Every evening we would try to pray together as a family but Isaac would never join us and it would usually end in children fighting. I was very discouraged to say the least!

At the conference, renewal in my family was one of the main things I was crying out to the Lord for. God answered my prayer and I returned home feeling empowered and reinvigorated to reclaim my family for the Lord.

The very night I got home, even though I was exhausted from lack of sleep, I sat my kids down. I explained to them about the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I also listed the opposite of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I asked them what they were seeing in our home. They agreed, we were seeing a lack of the Holy Spirit in our home. They agreed that we needed more of the Holy Spirit. We then began to pray and cry out to God for more of the Holy Spirit in our home. My daughters all got into it and felt his presence. My son however, still would not pray with us and I kid you not, he even mocked us. 

Okay, so we knew what we were dealing with and there may be a battle ahead. I clung to a scripture given to me at the conference however. It was Exodus 14:14 - The Lord will fight for you, you have only to be still!

In the days following, every time Isaac would sit next to us or on our lap, Tom and I would silently pray over him in the Spirit. We also have been praying every night as a family for more of the Holy Spirit. Let me tell you, there has been a radical change in my kids and in our household! Isaac is even letting us pray over him now. I even asked him the other day, "Isaac, do you want more of Jesus in your heart?" He responded, "Probably, yes." I'll take that, so I prayed with him! His heart is softening! Pretty awesome!!! 

There has still been a battle, but like that scripture, the Lord is fighting for us. One evening when we were praying, one of my daughters was throwing an all out temper tantrum over something trivial. She wouldn't stop. I calmly called her over to myself and began praying over her in the Spirit. Almost immediately, Peace came over her and she stopped crying. Every evening we have been praying fervently, the Holy Spirit has been showing up and his Peace has been descending on us! During the day, my kids have also been a lot more peaceful, pleasant and respectful. My nine year old is ready to tell all the neighbor kids about Jesus's love. I am beyond stoked!

If you are reading this now and thinking, "I desire and need more of the Holy Spirit in my life!" I pray for you now and impart to you more of the Holy Spirit and his abundant gifts in Jesus name! He desires to fill you up to over-flowing with his presence,  his love, the fruits of the Spirit and his grace!

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Reckless Love

When I was a teenager, I was involved in my church's youth group. One thing we were told is that God becoming human was the equivalent of us becoming a worm. That might be true but this past Christmas I was reflecting on the fact that in Genesis, God looks at all his creation and calls it good.

I think Jesus was very passionate and compelled by love to come to earth to restore and redeem his creation. It wasn't just his Father's idea. I also think he fully entered into the beauty and sacredness of life as a human. If you think about it, he spent 30 years just being and living life. What did he do during those years? He spent time with his family and friends; He helped his dad build things with his hands; He went to weddings where he danced and drank wine; He lived life with everything he had.

This past weekend I went to a conference in Ann Arbor called Encounter. It was very powerful and very obvious that Jesus is still in the business of redeeming and restoring. He will go to great lengths to bring freedom to his sheep and those who are lost.

One of the most powerful songs we sang was "Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury.  These are the lyrics:

Before I spoke a word
You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath
You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it
I don't deserve it
Still You give yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God

When I was your foe
Still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth
You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it
I don't deserve it
Still You give yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God

There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me
There's no wall You won't kick down
No lie You won't tear down
Coming after me

God's reckless love was definitely prevalent at the conference. He went to great lengths, pursued us and people responded. He wasn't concerned if it got messy and his reputation could be at stake. All he cared about was pouring out his love, setting his people free and equipping them with more of the Holy Spirit to go forth and reach the world for him!

Friday, December 8, 2017

The Way to Perfection

Happy feast of the Immaculate Conception! When we look at Mary, we can see a real contrast with that of the world. She is an example of what we are capable of becoming through Christ. With the World, we are getting a full on view of what happens when people don't know or follow Christ. So much is coming to light these days! It is  God alone who makes us more fully human and when we don't follow him, we become less human and make others less human by objectifying them.

When we choose to follow Jesus and receive his life in us, we have an advocate. He is extremely patient and kind and transforms us little by little, chiseling away the rough edges like a sculptor sculpting a beautiful piece of artwork out of marble.

I was not always aware of God's transforming power. I used to be very performance driven. I thought when I decided to follow him almost 30 years ago that I had to be perfect right away. I would beat myself up and fall into despair if I would mess up and do something wrong.

Over the years, I have learned to lean back in him, let him do a work in me and try not to tell the potter he is taking too long.

Last week I even had a dream that shows how far I have come in my way of thinking. In my dream, another woman and I were put in charge of cleaning a swimming pool. The swimming pool was a real mess! The water was a putrid green and filled with debris. I knew if I just worked on it a little bit each day and put a jug of chlorine in it each day, eventually it would be crystal clear. The other woman however was very irritated and impatient. She felt it needed to be completely clean right away.

In the spiritual life, we can often become impatient with ourselves, thinking we need to be perfect right away. However, Christ is the only one capable of making us clean from the inside out. When we entrust ourselves to him, we need to trust in what he is doing and his perfect timing.

In fact he is so patient and kind, he doesn't even want to dwell on the negative stuff we are often focused on. What I have come to realize, is that if I focus on his majesty and greatness instead of my imperfections and sins, that other stuff will work itself out.

Just yesterday I was talking to the Lord about some struggles I was having. It was good I was bringing it to him but he wasn't really interested in focusing on that. Instead he was so kind and began to give me some practical advice regarding the future. 

When I was a kid, my dad had a 25 ft. sailboat. We would always go sailing on Lake of the Ozarks when we lived in Missouri or Lake Pontchartrain when we lived in Louisiana. I loved sailing! We would also anchor the boat in a cove in the Lake and sleep on the boat at night. When we were done sailing and it was time to dock the boat, it was very important to secure the ropes connected to the boat to the horn cleats that were on the dock. If you didn't secure it just right, your boat could drift away.

This is what came to my mind yesterday. The Lord was letting me know that he is like the horn cleat that we need to secure ourselves tightly to. This way, even if things get terrifying in the world, we won't drift out to sea. 

The Lord kindly keeps telling me not to be afraid of things that are to come. These things are going to be necessary in order for people to recognize their need for him and these things will lead to a harvest of souls.

I think it has become very obvious in our world, that what people need most is Jesus!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

What is God's Justice?

We hear a lot about God's mercy but what is God's justice? Many Christians cringe when Pat Robertson talks about God's justice and tells us that it is God's justice and his judgement when natural disasters happen.

A friend of mine and fellow blogger, Sarah Babbs recently wrote an excellent, well written blog about God's justice here. Sarah and I don't always see eye to eye on things but I agree with her in this article. She quotes Amos 5:24 about God's justice being like mighty waters and an ever-flowing stream. 

What I have come to realize however is God's justice doesn't always look the way I think it should look. Those "mighty waters" can bring conversion of heart for those who do not resist.

One experience that helped me see God's justice differently is a time I was on a retreat. There was a woman there who was not very kind. She was rude to me and I felt belittled by her. At one point I went into the chapel and cried out to the Lord. I heard him say, "Don't worry about Jane (not her real name). She's a Martha. I will take care of her!"

That evening, we had a time of praise and worship. The Holy Spirit ended up falling on this woman and struck her like lightning, sending her to the floor. She was on the floor for hours, wailing and she literally could not get up. I think God was sitting on her.

That wasn't necessarily my idea of what God's justice should look like toward that woman but it is exactly what needed to happen for her to have a change of heart. The Lord needed to get to the inner places of her heart and bring healing and that is what he sovereignly did.

Joel 2:31 talks about the great and terrible day of the Lord. It will be great for those who call on the Lord's name but terrible for those who resist him.

The Lord's mercy and justice are two sides of the same coin and you can't have one without the other. For those who open their heart to the Lord, his magnificence is merciful and cleansing. For those who resist, his magnificence is very frightening and painful.


My Etsy shop is up and running! You can check it out here. I have full 5 decade Rosaries and Rosary bracelets. I even have essential oil diffuser Rosaries and bracelets using lava beads that absorb the oils! 

These are premium Rosaries using natural beads and flexible wire. They could make the perfect gift for Christmas, Confirmation, First Communion or Birthdays!

Monday, October 23, 2017

Would Jesus Eat with Harvey Weinstein?

I know I am a little late weighing in on this discussion. Instead of blogging, I've been focusing on my health. I took a LEAP test recently which is a blood test to find out what foods one might be sensitive to. I found out my body is highly sensitive to Cow's milk, sugar, buckwheat, cheddar, turkey, beef, coffee, most preservatives, and a host of other foods. I am working at cutting one food item our at a time in order to feel better and have more energy. I now understand why the Lord was telling me HE is my banquet. I am noticing however a difference after cutting out just a few of these items. I am also starting to be a connoisseur of hot tea. It's actually quite good!

Anyway, if you want to get inside my head, my title question is the type of stuff I think about. I don't really know for sure the answer. Even though Weinstein's actions were deplorable, it does seem like he has become a type of scapegoat. I say this even though I could easily say, "Me Too!" because I have also been the recipient of sexual harassment. Once, I even reported it at the job I was at and nothing was done about it. I remember the way it made me feel...completely belittled and ashamed. I remember not wanting to wear skirts anymore to work...but I digress.

To me, it is understandable why Jesus would have eaten and hung out with prostitutes; after all, they are hurting mainly themselves and often a victim. Jesus also hung out with tax collectors though, who were considered the ultimate scum at that time because they were also robbing and hurting other people. Even so, this doesn't seem as deplorable as someone like Weinstein or how about even a child molester!? 

You can see that having an encounter with Jesus caused the prostitutes and the tax collectors  to have a conversion of heart. Just look at Mary Magdalene and Zachhaeus. 

Are there some people however who are without hope for redemption? Are there sins that are just too deplorable to be forgiven?

I don't think so. As stated in Zachariah's beautiful prophecy in Luke 1:78 which we also call the Benedictus and is prayed by Catholic's through morning prayer, the mercy of God is bottomless! There isn't anyone or any sins that are so deplorable that God won't forgive if they turn to him.

Let's get back to the original question though..."Would Jesus eat with someone like Harvey Weinstein?" I think he would have if his Father put it on his heart to do so. You see, Jesus did what he saw the Father doing. I also know he didn't just eat and hang out with "safe" people. He hung out with people like Judas who even after hanging out with Jesus did not have a conversion of heart and ended up betraying Jesus.

When I first started following the Lord at the age of nineteen, I was filled with the Holy Spirit and my spiritual senses were heightened. I suddenly became very aware of what was in the hearts of those around me. I suddenly became aware of those involved in witchcraft, Satanism, pedophilia, etc... It was a little overwhelming at the time. I also think I misunderstood why the Lord was showing me these things. I thought he was just trying to warn me and keep me safe. The more I am becoming aware of the Lord's great mercy however, I am starting to realize these people are not beyond God's mercy or redemption. The Lord's love for them is no different than his love for me. If the Lord highlights these people to me, there is hope for them and instead of trying to stay away from such people, I am asking the Lord, what he loves about them and how I can reach them.

If you think about it, the ultimate justice would be for someone like that to turn to the Lord and have a conversion of heart and no longer want to hurt people anymore. Often, the victim is the one we focus on, understandably, but what if the people doing the victimizing could have a change of heart? All I'm saying is, Church, let's be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. He just may call us to reach out with the heart of Christ to someone we would have otherwise considered beyond hope and redemption. Look at the story of Jonah. Jonah didn't see that there was hope for the Ninevites or that they were worthy of redemption. However, in the end, he obeyed God, brought the word of the Lord to them and they repented.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Finally Getting Answers

Back when I was in college I remember experiencing debilitating fatigue and muscle weakness. I thought I was just being lazy.

After I had my second kid, it got worse. Again, I thought I was just being lazy. 

There were days I couldn't even pull myself off the couch. One day that was particularly awful, I heard the Lord tell me that I had a physical illness. He also showed me some other stuff which you can read about here.

That began the long road to getting answers.

I started going to doctors, which was difficult because I don't like to complain. Some thought I was crazy, some thought I was just depressed, and none were able to find anything wrong with me.

Finally after my 4th kid, about 9 years ago, I saw a Rheumatologist who did the right blood work and it showed I had some kind of connective tissue autoimmune condition but it was non specific. He said I also had Fibromyalgia.

At least I had some answers.

Several years later, that Rheumatologist retired and I started going to someone else. He did my blood work and found nothing.

Meanwhile, my symptoms have been getting worse. I now experience pain in most of my muscles and joints along with the debilitating fatigue. It is also strange, because it is not everyday. It can also vary from the morning to the evening and the days I have flare-ups, I also experience a low-grade fever.

Not knowing how I am going to feel from day to day or even hour to hour, has at times made me nervous to make plans. I never know how I am going to feel. I usually have to remind myself that God always gives me the grace when I need it.

Sometimes I catch myself worrying what people will think. I look healthy, so I wonder if people just think I am lazy or passive because I am not involved in more. I've really had to learn to not worry what people think. I know I need to pace myself and only do the things the Lord is leading me to do. That is the only way I will have the grace and strength I need.

I started going to a new doctor here in Indiana. I told her everything I was experiencing. She really listened, seemed to care and ordered a massive amount of blood work.

I'm finally getting answers!

It turns out, I have multiple conditions that could be causing my fatigue: Hypothyroidism, low iron, low vitamin D, and yes, an autoimmune, connective tissue disorder. She also ordered some more tests to see if we can find out a more specific connective tissue disorder.

I am very encouraged! Not because I am sick, but because I am finally getting answers to why I often feel the way I do and I can start doing things that will help me feel better.

I know the Lord's heart for me is to be whole and healthy. I know he wants me to  live life to the fullest. I also know for every year I've had to live with all this, he is going to give me a double portion of his Spirit. He is going to restore the years the locusts have eaten. I rejoice in him for who he is and what he is doing! He will have the final say!

At the same time, the lessons I have learned from all this has been invaluable! I have learned to be tenacious and to persevere. I have learned to cling to and be dependent on the Lord in all humility. I have also grown in an intimacy with him that I don't think I would have experienced any other way.

Recently the Lord brought back to my mind something I heard when I took my daughters horse back riding. Before we got on our horse, we had an instructor teaching us how to ride. She saw that many of us had tennis shoes on instead of cowboy boots. She said we would have to be extra careful because the benefits of cowboy boots was it had a heal. The groove of the heal could help you stay more securely in the stirrups.

The Lord has called me to ride with him. Where he is taking me, I am going to have to make sure my feet are securely in the stirrups. He might go fast. I believe the Lord showed me the following:  The crook of the heal keeping the boot in the stirrup on one side is faith joined with humility. On the other, it is love joined with prayer.

We are coming into some amazing times! We are going to see some amazing things! Many are going to be called to participate. In order to keep up, and not fall off the horse, we are going to need to be firmly grounded and rooted in Christ. Now is the time to prepare and get ready by surrendering to the Lord's transformative work. He knows what he is doing! 

Let us rejoice in the process that makes us feel weak but in actuality, makes us stronger!
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - And he has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my grace is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.