If the Lord ever asks you if you want an acceleration, brace yourself! He recently asked me this. I said, yes, but I also know to hold on and buckle up, because I also know it will probably come at a price and it is his desire to kill me. I said yes however, because I also know he is good and I can trust him. It is only in the dying that we can fully live. It is only in the dying that Christ can be more fully alive in us. It is only in dying that we can be fully free. It is only in dying that we truly have something to offer others.
Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat dies, it remains a single seed, but if it dies, it produces many seeds. - John 12:24
Recently, I was in prayer and I saw something really gross. It looked like raw flesh. My first thought was, "This can't be God." and then I realized it was inside an oyster shell. I thought about how dark it would be, how bad it would smell, how claustrophobic it would feel. I then realized that sums up part of my life right now. Isn't that always our first thought though, when uncomfortable situations happen in our life, "This cannot be God!"?
To get into the details of everything that has taken place in the last 4 years, wouldn't do it justice. I have had to die to dreams, even good ones; dreams for my children and for myself; basic dreams of my children just being able to attend or even do school, any school; dreams for everyone to be healthy and whole.
If you can relate to what I am saying, I think one thing the Lord is doing, is messing with the status quo. Let me explain. In society, are we in bondage to the way things have always been done or are we truly looking outside the box of life's possibilities? I remember a word the Lord gave me over 20 years ago. He said there was going to be a reversal of the order of how things are now. That can only happen if there is a shift in mindsets and our current ways of thinking.
I know, it is ultimately God's desire for myself and my family to be healthy and whole. I know it is ultimately God's desire for us to prosper, for us to have a home that is big enough for us, for us to have enough income for us to buy the things we need and even some things we want. I know it is his desire for us to live in a house that is not making us sick, so I continue to hope, I continue to pray, I continue to press in and I worship.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11
Recently, I had a dream. In the dream, I was tied up on the side of a cruise ship. I was stuck and could not move as everyone else was getting off. I knew in my dream, I had a choice to make; I could either panic because of the situation I was in or I could choose to worship. I chose to worship.
Even though I am in the coffin of an oyster shell, I choose to be still and worship, knowing something beautiful is being formed. I choose to stay here until the work is complete and at the same time, hoping and having faith that there is more, both in the physical and spiritual.
The pearl of great price is no joke, but it is worth it!