Saturday, September 16, 2017

Finally Getting Answers

Back when I was in college I remember experiencing debilitating fatigue and muscle weakness. I thought I was just being lazy.

After I had my second kid, it got worse. Again, I thought I was just being lazy. 


There were days I couldn't even pull myself off the couch. One day that was particularly awful, I heard the Lord tell me that I had a physical illness. He also showed me some other stuff which you can read about here.

That began the long road to getting answers.

I started going to doctors, which was difficult because I don't like to complain. Some thought I was crazy, some thought I was just depressed, and none were able to find anything wrong with me.

Finally after my 4th kid, about 9 years ago, I saw a Rheumatologist who did the right blood work and it showed I had some kind of connective tissue autoimmune condition but it was non specific. He said I also had Fibromyalgia.

At least I had some answers.

Several years later, that Rheumatologist retired and I started going to someone else. He did my blood work and found nothing.

Meanwhile, my symptoms have been getting worse. I now experience pain in most of my muscles and joints along with the debilitating fatigue. It is also strange, because it is not everyday. It can also vary from the morning to the evening and the days I have flare-ups, I also experience a low-grade fever.

Not knowing how I am going to feel from day to day or even hour to hour, has at times made me nervous to make plans. I never know how I am going to feel. I usually have to remind myself that God always gives me the grace when I need it.

Sometimes I catch myself worrying what people will think. I look healthy, so I wonder if people just think I am lazy or passive because I am not involved in more. I've really had to learn to not worry what people think. I know I need to pace myself and only do the things the Lord is leading me to do. That is the only way I will have the grace and strength I need.

I started going to a new doctor here in Indiana. I told her everything I was experiencing. She really listened, seemed to care and ordered a massive amount of blood work.

I'm finally getting answers!

It turns out, I have multiple conditions that could be causing my fatigue: Hypothyroidism, low iron, low vitamin D, and yes, an autoimmune, connective tissue disorder. She also ordered some more tests to see if we can find out a more specific connective tissue disorder.

I am very encouraged! Not because I am sick, but because I am finally getting answers to why I often feel the way I do and I can start doing things that will help me feel better.

I know the Lord's heart for me is to be whole and healthy. I know he wants me to  live life to the fullest. I also know for every year I've had to live with all this, he is going to give me a double portion of his Spirit. He is going to restore the years the locusts have eaten. I rejoice in him for who he is and what he is doing! He will have the final say!

At the same time, the lessons I have learned from all this has been invaluable! I have learned to be tenacious and to persevere. I have learned to cling to and be dependent on the Lord in all humility. I have also grown in an intimacy with him that I don't think I would have experienced any other way.

Recently the Lord brought back to my mind something I heard when I took my daughters horse back riding. Before we got on our horse, we had an instructor teaching us how to ride. She saw that many of us had tennis shoes on instead of cowboy boots. She said we would have to be extra careful because the benefits of cowboy boots was it had a heal. The groove of the heal could help you stay more securely in the stirrups.

The Lord has called me to ride with him. Where he is taking me, I am going to have to make sure my feet are securely in the stirrups. He might go fast. I believe the Lord showed me the following:  The crook of the heal keeping the boot in the stirrup on one side is faith joined with humility. On the other, it is love joined with prayer.

We are coming into some amazing times! We are going to see some amazing things! Many are going to be called to participate. In order to keep up, and not fall off the horse, we are going to need to be firmly grounded and rooted in Christ. Now is the time to prepare and get ready by surrendering to the Lord's transformative work. He knows what he is doing! 

Let us rejoice in the process that makes us feel weak but in actuality, makes us stronger!
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - And he has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my grace is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.


Wednesday, September 6, 2017

The Eye of the Storm

Whenever I intercede, I first ask the Lord how he is interceding regarding a situation. Jesus intercedes for us at the right hand of the Father (Romans 8:34). When Jesus was on earth, he also only did what he saw the Father doing (John 5:19). In the same way, I want to seek what he is doing and partner with him instead of getting in the way and praying the opposite of what he is doing. I also ask Jesus to show me where he is at in a given situation.

 As we see from the Gospel reading last Sunday in Matthew 16, Peter tried to stand in the way of what God was doing when he told Jesus he didn't need to die. Jesus told him, "Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do (Matthew 16:23)."


It is important to get in touch with God's heart and the mind of Christ.


I have been praying and seeking the Lord's wisdom regarding Hurricane Harvey, the wild fires in Montana and now Hurricane Irma. What the Lord showed me is he is not going to let the people affected, "hang out to dry". I looked up the meaning to that idiom and the first definition that came up was "not abandon to danger".


I also asked him to show me where he was at regarding these situations. 


With the fires, he is in the midst of the fire like he was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in Daniel 3.


With the flooding in Houston, he is reaching out his hand, pulling people up. We even see this happening through other people because we are his hands and his feet. 


With Hurricane Irma, he is in the eye of the storm where there is peace and rest. Even if the storm passes over, refuge and protection can be found in the Lord. He can be found right in the center where there is a sense of calm.


Several years ago the Lord gave me an image of duct tape on a window along with an impression. What came to me is that some people put duct tape on their windows when a hurricane is coming. The duct tape doesn't prevent the window from breaking but it can keep the window from shattering. In the same way, God doesn't always promise that bad things won't happen and we won't become broken in the process but when we put our trust in him, he does prevent our lives from shattering and he is with us in the storm.



Romans 8:28 - All things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.

Let us pray:


Heavenly Father, we thank you that you are a good and loving Father! Thank you that you are with us even in the midst of the storms of life and you will not abandon your people in times of danger! We pray for the people in Houston and surrounding areas, that you would continue to rescue anyone that is in need of rescuing and you would provide for all their immediate and long term needs. Help them to rebuild, with you as their sure foundation. We pray for the people affected by the fires...be with them, protect them and provide for them. We pray for the people in the path of Hurricane Irma. Help them to seek refuge under your shelter and protection. Give them a sense of peace and calm even in the midst of the storm. Help them to place their trust in your majesty and loving kindness!


Saturday, August 26, 2017

Arrows in the Lord's Quiver

Right now, some of you are experiencing the Lord drawing you to himself. You have been like an arrow hidden in the Lord's quiver as you respond to the call, "Come away with me, my Beloved!" You have been called to a place of intimacy. Like an arrow being drawn back in a bow, you are being drawn back into the heart of Jesus. You are called to stay there and drink from his life giving waters until the right moment when he releases you.

Like the scene from the movie, "Brave Heart", where the enemy is coming closer and closer, but Mel Gibson's character, William Wallace shouts, "HOLD!" as everyone draws back their arrows, you are being drawn back into the Lord. 

Because they waited before acting, they had a much bigger impact and gained victory when they finally released their arrows.

In the same way, if we draw back into the Lord's heart, getting in touch with his heartbeat, we will have a much greater effect and will be able to hit the mark or bulls-eye more effectively when the Lord finally let's go.

When finally released, the fiery arrows of God's love will consume all those they come in contact with!

Isaiah 49: 1- 7 -  Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother's womb he has spoken my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor." 

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Bullying at it's Worst

One thing I have been talking a lot about lately is the importance of knowing our true identity. It is important that we know who we are in Christ and we walk in the knowledge of that. Especially in this day and age, it is so important for Christians to be confident in who they are, who they are becoming and what they are called to do lest you be pulled in every direction.

If you are on social media at all, it doesn't take long to encounter people trying to pit one group against another and bullying others into activism. Even fellow Christians are partaking in this form of bullying.

If you are not confident in who you are in Christ, you could easily succumb to either being a victim of this kind of judgmentalism or join in with this type of judging of others. Somehow, even if you are not a part of either group pitted against each other, it could make you feel guilty for even being human when you read such rants. If you join in the conversation, it can feel like entering a den of vipers.

I don't know if I blogged about this before but the Lord once asked me if I wanted to be a fly on the wall and see the schemes of the enemy. What he ended up showing me was rather horrifying but to sum it up, the three biggest schemes of the enemy that the Lord showed me was to distract, cause anger, and cause division.

Perhaps it is time to step back and engage again in real life. It's time to be present to the ones closest to us.

Mother Theresa said, "If you want to change the world, go home and love your families."

Often, this is the place to start.

There are times in our lives where the Lord might call us to activism. There are other times in our life when we might be called to retreat, be still and grow in our relationship with Christ. And, in both seasons in life, we are called to love our neighbor, those closest to us, and everyone we come in contact with. That is the place to start. We change the world, one person at a time.

When called to action, often times actions speak louder and is more effective than words. Please don't project your own convictions and calling on others by judging them and looking down on them if they are not doing what you think they ought to do. You could actually be having the opposite effect.

It is easy to spout off judgments on Facebook or other forms of social media but it could do more harm than good.  There is a reason Jesus said to take the plank out of our own eye before looking at the speck in someone else's. Maybe we should pause and think about how our words will effect others. Will what we say cause a greater divide and fuel anger or will it bring about unity and peace?

Often we can have a greater impact if we are willing to practically love those around us by making little daily sacrifices than pointing out the sins in everyone else. Especially, if we are pitting one group of people against another, we are not advancing the Kingdom of God. All we are doing is feeding into anger and division.

We need to be discerning. Don't take on the false yoke of others or be bullied into action if the Lord is not calling you to action. Also don't join the mob mentality and attack. It is better to take a step back and respond to God's grace in a situation rather than be reactionary. Often times it is also better to give people the benefit of the doubt instead of being quick to judge.

The body of Christ has many parts. One day, I am sure, we will see the powerful things that happened as a result of cloistered nuns praying with great faith! I think we will be amazed that someone could actually have such an impact when they never even had a smart phone, access to the internet and never left their convent.
James 1:19-20 - Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. for man's anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Let's Not Be Puffer Fish!

When Tom and I started and pastored a non-denominational church years ago, there was a young, single guy that joined us. When we came back to the Catholic Church, he followed, went through RCIA and became Catholic. 

He is currently in Thailand as a missionary, fighting human trafficking. He works with a Protestant organization but greatly desires to partner with Catholics. Unfortunately, he hasn't had much luck finding Catholic groups over there to partner with. The reason is because most of the Catholic groups in Thailand, working with human trafficking victims are more into social justice and they don't see the need to evangelize; they don't see that the people would be better off if they knew Jesus instead of believing in Buddha, or their Hindu god. It is good that they want to take care of their physical needs, protect their dignity and rescue them from trafficking, but unfortunate that they do not see that true freedom only comes from knowing Jesus and having a relationship with him.

I do not know what the reason for this is, perhaps fear; fear of rocking the boat and offending people. I want to give these Catholic groups the benefit of doubt and think they somewhat know Christ but I seriously question whether they know him intimately. 

Scripture talks about perfect love driving out all fear (1 John 4:8). Perfect love comes through knowing Christ intimately; not just knowing about him or having a superficial relationship where we hold back or hide some areas of our heart from the Lord.

We are called to give it all and open the door of every area of our heart to the Lord's sanctifying grace.

I believe St. Peter had a fear of intimacy with the Lord at first and that is what led to him denying Jesus three times during his passion as Peter succumbed to fear.

There are several things we see in scripture that would indicate that Peter may have had a fear of intimacy.

At the transfiguration, Peter tried to change the subject, suggesting they build tents, possibly because he wasn't willing to enter into the intimacy of the moment and fully receive what he was being shown (Matthew 17). 

When Jesus was preparing to wash the disciples feet, Peter didn't want Jesus to wash his feet (John 13).

When Jesus appeared on the shore after his Resurrection, Peter clothed himself before jumping in the water to see Jesus (John 21). Could this represent trying to hide his soul and not letting Jesus see all of him?

After Jesus' death and Resurrection and before his Ascension, Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. By the third time, I think Peter finally got it, had an ah-ha moment and realized the Lord sees all things and nothing can be hidden from him. He then understood that what is most important is an intimate relationship with God and it is only out of this intimate relationship that we can perfectly love others.

Since Peter originally had a fear of intimacy and wouldn't let Jesus see everything about him and allow his perfect love to drive out all fear in his heart, he didn't have the fortitude to resist the temptation of denying Jesus when the pressure was on.

If we fail to have an intimate relationship with the Lord; hiding parts of our souls from him, we could actually do more harm than good. If we don't allow the Lord to love us perfectly, we will cave to fear when the pressure is intense; fear of man, fear of failure, fear of rejection, etc. This fear will make it nearly impossible to make ourselves vulnerable and love others. Instead we will try to defend ourselves and lash out at people.

That is what puffer fish do; when they become afraid and feel threatened, they puff up and can injure if you get too close.

As Catholics, we especially have an amazing opportunity through the Eucharist to enter into deeper intimacy with the Lord but we need to open our hearts to the graces that are available. 

The Church needs people who will radically abandon themselves and allow Christ to thoroughly love them. When we are willing to enter into an intimate relationship with Christ, allowing the fire of his love to penetrate our hearts, we will be compelled to go out and share this love with others; radically loving them into the Kingdom even if it means dying for our faith!

Monday, July 24, 2017

The View of Self that Does Not Lead to Pride

Especially as Catholics, many of us have been taught not to think too highly of ourselves or we will fall into pride. I myself have fallen into spiritual pride.

You see, when I first started following Jesus at the age of 19, I ran way ahead of him. A lot of what I was doing however ended up being in my own effort and strength. This led to spiritual pride.

The next 10 to 15 years, I went through the wringer of life which felt like tumbling around in a washing machine trying to catch my breath. Through these life circumstances however, the Lord taught me how to surrender, lean back in him, rest and just be; finding my worth in being a child of God and not worth in the things I was doing for him.

After a time of purification however, I was afraid of thinking too highly of myself, falling back into spiritual pride and going forward.

In my last blog post I talked about the importance of having the right perception; the right perception when it comes to other people and our circumstances.

It is also important that we have the right perception about our self.

Lately, the Lord has been impressing on me how important it is to know our true identity in him. It is also important that we know how the Lord sees us.

Our true identity can only be found in Christ but it is this identity that is imperative for us to know. When it is rooted in Christ, it doesn't lead to pride but is important to know if we are going to advance the Kingdom; do the things Christ has destined since the beginning for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10 - "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works that he has prepared in advance for us to do."
Now, I'm not talking about the Barney or Arthur mentality that was taught to our kids about just believing in yourself and we are all special and should all get trophies. This kind of mindset leads to self-absorption and egotism.

I'm talking about identity rooted in the truth of who we are in Christ and whom he is calling us to be. Scripture is full of examples of God calling people higher by revealing their true identity and calling. Take the examples of David, Gideon, Peter, Paul, and Philip to name a few.

Many of us go through life not really giving much thought about how the Lord views us or who we are. I wonder if that is what the scripture from Proverbs 29:18 is talking about when it says, "The people perish for lack of vision."

We just kind of wonder around aimlessly with no real purpose.

Did you know it is okay to ask the Lord questions?  I think he actually loves it when we ask him question!

Try asking him how he sees you. Ask him who you are in him. Ask him what he has destined for you.
If you ask him, I am confident that he will show you. Once he shows you, write it down, declare it, stand in confidence, and walk in that knowledge!

Also, it is only when we come into the knowledge of who we are in Christ that we will be able to see the majesty and goodness of who God really is.

1 Corinthians 13:12 -  "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I am fully known." 
Let me know what the Lord shows you. I would love to hear!

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Perception is Everything!

What we focus on in life makes all the difference in the world! What we focus on can either invite God's blessing into a situation or hinder his blessing.

Do we look at a situation and see the majesty of God or adversity? Do we look at the world and see darkness or see opportunities for God's light to break through.

Where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more (Romans 5:20).

Yesterday, I took my children to the pediatric dentist. My kids had been called back and I was sitting in the waiting room, waiting. A teenage girl walked in by herself. She had several facial piercings, a black shirt with curse words and vulgarities all over it, and an expression that said, "Leave me alone! I hate you and I hate life." Understandably, I think most of the mamas in that room were shielding their kid's eyes.

This girl ended up sitting near me. I felt the Lord's presence. I began praying for her. For a long time she would not look at me. Finally she looked at me and I was able to strike up a conversation with her. I smiled at her and said, "Interesting shirt." She replied, "Um, it's my friends." I said, "I bet your friend has had a hard life!"

I then got called back so I couldn't talk to her anymore but hopefully through those few words, I was able to show her the Lord's kindness and understanding.

Now, I could have looked at this girl as trouble, stayed away from her and kept to myself but I would have missed out on an opportunity and a "God" moment.

The right mindset doesn't just apply to people we come into contact with in life, but even difficult situations we find ourselves in.

A few years ago we went on a retreat as a family. The retreat grounds were beautiful! At first my kids were enjoying the beauty of  nature all around us but then started noticing the bugs and started complaining. I told them not to focus on the bugs but God's beautiful creation. In that moment, God spoke to me that I have a tendency to do the same thing. I can often focus on the negative and fail to see what God is doing in a certain situation and see the opportunities that are available.

Also take a lady bug for example. Some people will see the lady bug and see a pesky bug. The lady bug is a also called a lady bird. Some people will see this creature as something beautiful.

Recently, the Lord gave me a word for a friend but I do not think it was just for this person but for anyone who is trying to follow Christ. The word was:

"You have heard it said, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' but I say 'When life gives you lemons, don't see the lemons as adversity, but see them as opportunity. Opportunity to encounter an aspect of my nature that you wouldn't otherwise have been able to discover."

The majesty of God is bigger than any situation or circumstance we find our self in! As we allow ourselves to be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2), we can find rest for our weary souls in his sovereign majesty!


Thursday, June 22, 2017

The Prayer That Makes ALL the Difference!

Well, I made it through last week! Last week was VBS (Vacation Bible School) at our church. I was asked to lead the craft area. I said "yes" even though I wasn't sure what all it entailed and I was nervous because my mornings are usually rough. Especially after having the flu a couple months ago sent me into a flare-up with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and bursitis in all my joints. The Lord was faithful however and like always gave me the grace and strength I needed. Sometimes I forget that he will do that but he always does!

On a different note, I want to talk about intercessory prayer; what it is and what it is not. It seems there is a great need for prayer. Social media especially is providing a means for people to make known their desperate prayer requests. Intercessory prayer is a great way to grow in empathy for one another and help carry one another's burdens.

When interceding for our self and others however, it is important to have a correct view of God and proper mindset. How do we see God? Do we see him as a loving Father who has our best interest at heart or do we see him as a distant god, withholding his grace and gifts unless we jump through certain hoops?

We do not need to beg him to act! His mercy and gifts are abundant!

Scripture talks about Jesus interceding for us before the throne of the Father (Romans 8:34). That tells me his heart is for us and he has our best interest at heart. In light of this, I have been asking the Lord to show me how he is praying for me and for others.  Once I receive a revelation of this, I partner with him and pray in agreement. It's amazing how quickly prayers are answered when praying this way!

Lately, I've been praying for a little boy from my daughter's first grade class. He recently had a brain aneurysm.  I've been asking Jesus how he is praying for him. Two things have come to my mind. One was that a heavenly blanket of healing, love and protection would cover the boy. The other thing I saw was a cactus that has water in the center and praying that the family would discover the Living water and sweetness of God's Spirit that can be found even in the midst of suffering. Well, the grandmother keeps reporting updates with how God is blanketing this boy with his love and protection and how God is healing him. She is also reporting the many consolations she is receiving and ways she is seeing God move in this situation. Pretty cool!!!

Now, getting in touch with Jesus' prayers for us and partnering with him is different than praying, "Lord, if it be your will, please grant my request." That type of prayer is praying out of hope instead of praying with faith. We are called to pray with expectant faith! What father would give his son a stone when he asks for a fish (Luke 11:11)? 

One example that comes to my mind of someone using expectant faith is the Loboda's story. Their toddler daughter, Joy drowned in a pool and wasn't responsive when her father found her. He immediately started praying for her with the gift of faith. I believe he was in touch with God's heart. In one interview, he even talks about an experience he had: In the ambulance he found himself before the throne of God. He was bold and told God, "Yes, she is yours but she is also mine and it is not her time!!!" She ended up being miraculously healed!

That took boldness and courage! God likes it when we feel free enough to approach his throne of grace with all confidence, trusting in his mercy and goodness and our relationship with him (Hebrews 4:16)!

The Church also gives us many tools to use for prayer. When used properly, these tools are powerful. Two powerful tools are the Rosary and Divine Mercy chaplet. The proper way to use these tools is to enter into the life of Christ, recognizing the Holy Spirit within us and pray with Him; getting in touch with His heartbeat. An improper way to use these tools is to view God as distant, praying toward him and striving to say as many prayers as we can so he will possibly hear and answer us.

Do you see the difference? When interceding properly, our relationship with Christ is also deepened. Then intercession isn't just intercession. It becomes a devotion and way to gain a better understanding of God's heart and way to grow in our love toward him and one another. What a wonderful gift that we are able to partner with the Living God!

Now, if you haven't always viewed God correctly or prayed the right way, don't beat yourself up! We are on a journey. We are learning! God makes up for where we are lacking and he can redeem anything! He still performs the miraculous in spite of our lack of faith and let's face it, sometimes things just don't turn out the way we think it should. God's ways are higher! What is important is what we do with the knowledge we have now and how we move forward from here on out!

Thursday, May 25, 2017

All Hands on Deck!

"It is coming! It is coming! It is coming! A great harvest of souls is coming! Now is the time to get ready!"
That was a very intense and powerful word the Lord gave me through an angel a few years ago.

It was coming back to me this morning as I was praying, along with a few other things I am supposed to share.

I can be shy about sharing prophetic words the Lord gives me but He gave me 1 Tim. 4:14 this morning, about not neglecting the gift within. So, out obedience I will share:

As storms pick up in the world, worldly people who don't know the Lord are going to be looking to Christians for answers. 

We have a choice to make as God's people.  We can coward and go back to our old ways of thinking and doing things or we can stand, walk in the knowledge of who we are in Christ and share with people the hope that lies within us.

Perhaps you have been discouraged, wondering if God is going to use you.  You see others doing and stepping out in the things you have always desired to do. Believe me, he is going to need all hands on deck! This could be your finest hour and you were made for such a time as this!

If you have been spending time resting in the Lord, growing in Him and allowing him to do a work in you, the time has not been in vain! If you have neglected this, it is not too late! Ask the Lord to multiply and make up for lost time!

Like a caterpillar in a chrysalis, you may be dormant now but He is saving the best wine for last! You are about to be released as a beautiful butterfly, full of His glory!

Did you know there is such thing as an arctic butterfly. These butterflies can endure and survive through extreme temperatures and circumstances. These are the kind of butterflies the Lord has been creating in us. No act of suffering and difficulty, joined to the heart of Christ has gone unseen or has been wasted!

He is especially going to need those who know his heartbeat through entering his rest. Those who know they are beloved by no merit of their own but because of God's goodness, love and His mercy! The joy that comes with knowing the Father's love and mercy will be contagious and will be a magnet for those who don't yet believe!

Thursday, May 18, 2017

A Revert's Perspective

It is no secret that my husband has struggled with deep regret over us leaving the Catholic Church and being away for 10 years. He has since worked through it and has forgiven himself, especially now that the Lord has restored him and he is doing what he is passionate and gifted in. I on the other hand have not dealt with the same regret. I can honestly see how the Lord used our time away and coming back to give us a deeper appreciation for what we had. The Lord can work good out of anything! Also, sometimes, you have to go to the other side to realize the grass isn't always greener. 

I hope I don't offend my Protestant friends. I did gain some valuable friendships during the time we were in a non-denominational church. There were also some things I really appreciated. I appreciated the often passionate worship, sense of community and the openness to hearing God speak. 
 Also, I often enjoyed bridging the gap and dispelling myths Protestants have toward Catholics.

My list however for what I appreciate now that we are back is longer. I share this with you because there are many Cradle Catholics who don't realize what they have and is why converts often make the best Catholics.


I appreciate that when we go to Mass, the focus is not on socializing, but on prayer and preparing ourselves to encounter the Living God!


I love and appreciate the Mystery that is there!

I appreciate the sense of the Sacred and the visible signs that point to the invisible. 


I appreciate the beauty, the statues, the incense... These things magnify God and they draw my attention upward, helping to open my heart to the things of Heaven.


I appreciate that Catholic worship isn't just about the music. There are many ways to worship God. The highest form of worship for Catholics is the sacrifice of Mass.

I have a deeper appreciation for the Eucharist and the depth of intimacy that is available through receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. The Eucharist also helps me have a deeper awareness of the habitation of God within me at all times.


I appreciate, that surprisingly, I am more accepted now with the ways I hear from God than I was when we were in a church that is supposed to accept those things. I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Many of the Catholic Saints had dreams, visions, prophetic words, etc. 


I appreciate that Catholics recognize the Communion of Saints. There are some Saints that I feel very close to and that's not considered weird. I know they are praying for me and helping me draw closer to God.

I appreciate the authority of the Church. I appreciate that, when it comes to doctrine and moral issues, it's not just left up to my own interpretation of scripture, especially because there are many modern issues that aren't even addressed specifically in scripture. 

I appreciate that there are boundaries and a correct understanding of grace; A cheapened form of grace goes around the cross instead of through it. It makes allowance for every kind of sin instead of offering people redemption and freedom. 

I appreciate the safety and protection that comes with the covering of the Catholic Church. I never experienced so much spiritual warfare as I did when we were Protestant. 

I appreciate that I no longer have to defend certain doctrines and morality. The Church does that for me so I can just focus on loving people.

Just like natural seasons, I appreciate the liturgical seasons. There is always something to look forward to. There is a rhythm but it is never the same.

I appreciate that before Christmas and Easter, we recognize the season of Advent and Lent as a time to prepare our hearts.

I have a deeper appreciation for Mary. Catholics do not worship her like some Protestants suspect but in honoring her and recognizing her beauty, I think Catholics have a better appreciation and respect for women, their role and their femininity.

Now I do recognize, sadly that much of the Catholic Church got away from Orthodox Catholicism in the 70's. Like St. Pope John Paul II predicted however, we are coming into a new spring time in the Church. The Church even looks different than it did twenty years ago. I guess, people are realizing that throwing out the baby with the bathwater wasn't such a good idea. The Holy Spirit is definitely at work! There is a new desire and longing, especially among young people for the Sacred, Holiness, and Truth. 

As I am writing this and reflecting on the things I love about being Catholic, I feel a deep anticipation especially for Mass in a couple weeks.  

This year, Sunday, June 4th is the feast of Pentecost. Pentecost is the day the Church was born. Tom and I were here, in Indiana last Pentecost for his interview. We got to attend Mass at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel last Pentecost. It was definitely recognized as a high feast day! They had lots of incense, chanting, and beautiful music! It was very beautiful and you definitely could feel the presence of the Lord!

I also am very hopeful for the future of the Catholic Church and anticipate what the Holy Spirit still has in store!


Matthew 16:18 - ...And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My Church, and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it!

*I had to edit because I originally thought this Sunday was Pentecost Sunday because last year it was the middle of May :).

Monday, May 8, 2017

Recognizing God's Presence in the Familiar

Last week the Gospel reading was from Luke 24 about the road to Emmaus. It is one of my favorite stories in the bible. After Jesus died on the cross, many of his disciples became sad and discouraged. In this story, two of his followers were headed back to Emmaus, to their old life, from Jerusalem because they were disheartened over Jesus' death. Jesus appeared and even walked with them along the road but at first they didn't recognize him.

I have often found it baffling: How could they NOT recognize him?! Yet, how often have I been in his presence and also didn't recognize him?

Like many Catholics, I was born into the Catholic Church. I was baptized as a baby. Catholics believe baptism actually does something. We believe at baptism, we receive the presence and fullness of God through the Holy Spirit. So, because I always had the Lord in my life, I didn't know what it was like not to have him.

 I also spent many weekends at my grandparent's house in Frankenstein, Missouri and often went to church with them. My grandfather helped lay the stones of the Catholic Church there. It is a very beautiful church, but when I was younger, I don't think I appreciated the beauty of it. There were a few things about the church however, that even as a child, left me in awe! One being that when you walk into the church you are greeted by two huge angels holding holy water fonts. Another thing I remember is the beautiful stations of the cross and big mural paintings on the wall. They seemed to draw me in and I remember often staring at those instead of listening to the homily.

When I was 19, I had an "Emmaus" type experience and recognized Jesus in the breaking of the bread, through the consecration of the Eucharist. That was the first time I realized Jesus was in the bread we ate at communion. It also was the first time I realized God knew me and wanted to have a relationship with me.

As many of you know, Tom and I left the Catholic Church a couple years into our marriage and were away for about 10 years. We stopped recognizing that he was there and gave up hope that he could resurrect what appeared to be a sleeping giant.

When my grandma died, I went back to Missouri for her funeral which took place in the Frankenstein church that I attended a lot as a kid. Through the beauty all around me, the memories came flooding back. I then recognized that he was there and he had always been there, even when I wasn't aware of it.

After being away for 10 years, Tom and I realized the grass wasn't greener on the other side. We missed the sense of the sacred, the beauty and the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. Being away gave us a longing for these things that we once took for granted.

In 2007 we came back and gained a deeper appreciation for the beauty and the presence of the Lord in the Catholic Church.

I think there is something to be said for beauty. God created us with a physical body, not just a spirit. He gave us senses. He often speaks to us through our senses of sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. The physical world can draw our eyes upward and point us to the supernatural and something bigger than ourselves. There is something to be said for using incense, bells, sacred music, chanting, beautiful art, and what appears to be bread in liturgy. The things of this earth can mirror and magnify the things of heaven. We can know that whatever beauty we encounter in this life, it is only a glimmer and taste of what awaits us in the next!

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - meditate on these things." 


Friday, April 28, 2017

Mindsets are Powerful but Mercy is More Powerful!

So, I have 6 kids - not because I have good pregnancies, but because Tom and I believed that to be God's will for our life. I actually had very horrible pregnancies! I would have 24 hour a day nausea, gestational diabetes, and preterm labor, to name a few distressing side effects. The worst side effects being the strong contractions and preterm labor that would go on for months! The pressure was so great at times, it was hard to walk; I felt my babies were going to fall out of me!

When we were engaged, before we got married, the Lord showed me a baby boy we would have someday. Well, I kept having baby girls. I love baby girls and would have been just fine to just have girls, but I believed God promised us a boy and so I wanted to see God's promise fulfilled. 

After our 5th baby girl was born, I went to see a priest. I told him how I believed God promised us a boy but I had 5 girls and wasn't sure my body could handle having another baby. He then asked me a question that caught me off guard. He asked if I had ever considered an abortion. What?! "NO!", I said emphatically.

I left the confessional with the priest and reflected on what he had said. I realized it was very plausible that in my teenage, pagan days, there was a very likely chance that I had the attitude- if I get pregnant, I can just abort. After realizing, I may have had that heart attitude, I repented to the Lord.

Tom and I became open to having another baby. I got pregnant and ended up miscarrying at 9 weeks. I offered that baby to the Lord and felt like that offering was like a mustard seed that Jesus talked about in Matthew 17. I felt, mysteriously and supernaturally, that offering was going to produce abundant faith and fruit in my own heart and life.

Two months later I got pregnant again. At 20 weeks, to our great delight, we were told we were having a healthy baby boy! Amazingly, I didn't experience any strong contractions before it was time to have him. This is the first of all my pregnancies that I didn't experience that! 

I really believe, not experiencing preterm contractions and pressure with my last baby was because I repented of having an abortion mindset. I never had an abortion but Jesus said, having anger in our heart is the same as murder (Matthew 5). In my case, having a heart attitude of abortion was the same as having an abortion. That attitude was also manifesting itself physically, as my body was trying to reject my pregnancies.

What I really find moving, is that I didn't need to jump through hoops to receive mercy or healing! All I had to do was repent! Once I repented, Jesus was able to come in and bring healing!

This past Sunday was Divine Mercy Sunday. It is a feast day based on the revelations of Saint Faustina. She had a vision of Jesus with rays of mercy flowing out of his heart.

God's mercy is bottomless! When we encounter his mercy, we are filled with joy! It is the joy of the Lord that gives us strength (Nehemiah 8)!

And I will leave you with this to chew and meditate on:
Habakkuk 3 - His brightness shall be like light itself, rays shining from his hands - there is strength hidden...But I will rejoice in the Lord, take joy in God my savior. He will make me as sure-footed as the deer. He will lead me up to the heights.
May you encounter Christ's bottomless mercy in your own life today! His mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23)!!! 

Monday, April 3, 2017

Receiving the Gift of God

Okay, I'm going to ask a personal question: Are there sins you continue to struggle with over and over again? Do you get discouraged because you just can't seem to overcome them?

The root cause of our addictive heart and our struggles is that we don't understand the gift of God; we don't understand that we are His Beloved; we don't understand His bottomless mercy or His love! Therefore, we turn to stagnant water that does not satisfy instead of springs of living water that only God can give.

A couple weeks ago, the Gospel reading was about the woman at the well (John 4). That story wasn't just about that woman. This past Sunday the Gospel was about the raising of Lazarus (John 11). Again, that story isn't just about Lazarus, it is about us!

Like the woman at the well, we also have a tendency to run to wells that will run dry and never fully satisfy. Like Lazarus' body was bound, our souls are often bound by sin. Our eyes are bandaged and prevent us from seeing.

We don't see the gift of God that is available to us (John 4:10).

The problem with sin is that when we choose it, we become less of who we were meant to be. We become less human and less like Christ; we are left feeling sad and incomplete.

We are called to give it all; give our whole lives! We are left feeling sad when we give less of ourselves and settle for temporal pleasures. Just look at the story of the man who asked Jesus what more he could do to acquire eternal life: Jesus told him to go sell all he had and come follow him. The man couldn't do it and was left feeling sad (Mark 10:21-22). Money and material possessions was the vice of this man.

There is nothing we could give up that God would not bless us with 100 fold (Mark 10:31)!

If we recognized that we are the Beloved of God; the Bride of Christ, we would also expect daily bread. His daily bread is every word that comes from His mouth (Matthew 4:4) and is also available in Holy Communion (John 6:35). Let us taste and see that God is good (Psalm 34:8)! We can seek an encounter with him daily (Matthew 6:9)! He desires to speak to us daily! Nothing else will truly make us happy and fulfilled like encountering him daily! May our eyes become unbound so we see His workings in our daily life! He is the eternal Word! He is always speaking; He speaks through His creation; He speaks through other people and situations; He speaks through Holy Scripture; And yes, he speaks directly to our heart!


Let us have ears to hear and eyes to see! Let us daily drink from Springs of Living water that will never run dry and will fulfill our restless hearts!

Saturday, March 25, 2017

A Core Fact

So, if you have been following my blog for any length of time, you have probably figured out that I like analogies. It is also the way God gets my attention and speaks to me.

I believe the Lord gave me an analogy that some people reading this blog post may need to hear. I share it in order to encourage you in your walk with the Lord.

You may especially need to be encouraged during times like Lent when you are fasting and trying to draw closer to the Lord. It can almost feel as if you are going backwards instead of forward. Be encouraged however and don't trust your feelings; you are probably closer to Him than you think!

Imagine your soul is like a body of water and Jesus is an anchor. We are called to allow this anchor to go deep into our soul. The way to do this is through fasting and prayer. As we fast, pray and draw closer, eventually this anchor is going to hit bottom. When the anchor hits bottom or the depth of our soul, it stirs up all kinds of muck. It can even uncover creatures like crabs and such. The crabs don't like to be uncovered and brought into the light so they may try to pinch and attack.

If you will persevere, find a quiet retreat in your soul to commune with God, the light of his face will cause the enemy to flee and the mucky water to become clear again!

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Let's Find Our Way Back!

Recently I watched the new Disney animated movie, Moana. The Producers spent 5 years researching and visiting the islands in the South Pacific before making the movie. In doing so, they were able to get acquainted with Polynesian culture. Under the special features section of the Moana DVD, one can learn about the culture as well. 

While I was watching the "making of the movie", it occurred to me just how far we have strayed from the way God originally intended the world to be.

On these little islands in the South Pacific, the people have held onto their cultural heritage. They have handed down their traditions and history through stories passed onto their children. They also have a real sense of family and community. They even help raise one another's children, considering everyone in the village, family and they share everything they have with one another. One thing that struck the directors was the sincerity and friendliness of the teenagers that lived there.

Along with respect for people, the Polynesian culture has a great respect for the land and ocean. They live off the land, using all the natural resources available to them. They have the mindset that the land owns them, they don't own the land. Their faith is also a big part of who they are and worship with their community is very important to them.

Another thing that is interesting about them is, despite modern technologies, they have stuck with their own way of doing things that has worked for them. For example, many still rely on the stars as a way of navigation instead of GPS.

It occurred to me while watching the movie that in this day and age, with the technology we have, we are able to connect with people all around the world but we are no longer connecting with our own family, neighbors or community. Modern technology has become our Tower of Babel. With technology we have attempted to become like God apart from God and have failed to recognize God in our neighbor and working within nature. We've become out of touch and blind as we have sought bigger and better advancements; no longer seeing Him in the details of everyday life.

It all started in the Garden of Eden. Man chose knowledge over Wisdom and Life. True Wisdom and Life can only be found in God. We wanted to become our own little god instead of eating from the source of Life to become like the one true God. We thought we could attain perfection by gaining more and more knowledge but instead it has caused us to become less of who we were made to be and whom we were made for. We have strayed farther from our roots, our true identity, our heritage. We have strayed far away from the way life was meant to be lived.

Although it doesn't sound half bad, I don't think the answer is to sail off to a little island and start a community. In Christ there is hope! Jesus can redeem anything! Through the cross of Christ we have the opportunity to once again eat from the Tree of Life and become like Him! We can put Jesus first instead of being distracted by the latest technology. We can begin connecting and reaching out to our neighbor and those around us. In Christ we can live life to the fullest, build community and be an example to others of the joy that comes from following Him!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

It's Not Too Late!

We are almost a week into this Lenten season. How is your Lent going so far? Are you keeping your Lenten promises? Are you drawing closer to the Lord?

A good thing to keep in mind is that God desires our hearts, not our sacrifices just for the sake of sacrifice (Matt. 9:15; 1 Sam. 15:22; Hosea 6:6; Psalm 51:16)!

If you want the best Lent ever, think of those things that distract you from drawing close to the Lord; those things that hinder your walk with him and prevent you from receiving all of his love for you! Then refrain from those things. It's not too late! We still have 34 more days!

Joel 2:12-13 Come back to me with all your heart, fasting, weeping, mourning. Let your hearts be broken, not your garments torn, turn to the Lord your God again, for he is all tenderness and compassion, slow to anger, rich in graciousness, and ready to relent.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

The Desolation Dog

Lent starts in just a few days. The first day is Wednesday, March 1st. If you are looking to grow deeper in your faith this Lent, you might want to consider reading the book, Discernment of Spirits  by Fr.Timothy Gallagher. It is based on the rules of discernment by St. Ignatius of Loyola.

The rule I personally found most helpful and one of the hardest to follow is rule number 5. Rule number 5 advises that you do not make a change during times of spiritual desolation.

The best thing to do in times of desolation is to wait upon the Lord, sit in his presence and allow Him to do a purifying work. That is so hard to do especially during times of desolation when we don't feel his presence! It is very difficult to sit still and wrestle with our own thoughts, weaknesses and sin. It is easier and feels more natural to run to idols or distractions.

We all have our own vices and means we use to distract ourselves. My personal weakness has been cute little furry animals. During times of desolation I have fallen into the temptation of adopting them (this is not a temptation or a sin if you aren't trying to fill a longing in your heart with it). The only problem is they don't always stay little and cute. They have also not always worked out for our family and we have had to find some of them new homes.

We currently have a desolation dog. I got her as a cute little puppy, two years ago, during a dry period in my spiritual life; reasoning that our kids needed the experience of having a pet, specifically a puppy. The only problem is now she is an adult dog who barks at anything that moves 25 yards from our house and she nips at kids. We can not bring her around other people, especially little children.

Hindsight, I should have sat with the Lord in the uncomfortable dryness instead of trying to fill that emptiness in my heart with a furry creature. I should have turned to the Creator instead of one of his creatures.

Failing to wait for God's best is nothing new to God's people. The bible is full of stories of people who didn't always wait for His best. Even Abraham who had tremendous faith in God, decided to take matters in his own hands when he took Sarah's handmaid, Hagar in an attempt to fulfill God's promise for a child. Ishmael was the result.

A couple of blog posts ago, I wrote a blog post entitled Rerouting, I talked about how God doesn't just have a plan "A" for us. If we mess up plan "A", he will give us plan "B" and so on.

It isn't too late however for us to resolve to wait upon the Lord and receive his best! We can choose His plan "A" for today!

What distractions are you tempted to run to when faced with dryness in your soul? This Lent let us resolve to let go of idols and distractions. Let us sit at the Lord's feet and allow Him to do a purifying work in us so we can grow closer to Him. Let us become more aware of his merciful love for us and that we are his beloved!


Friday, February 24, 2017

Who is My Neighbor?

This past weekend, the first Mass reading was from Leviticus 19 which talks about loving your neighbor as yourself. The Gospel reading was from Matthew 5 and was about not only loving your neighbor but also your enemy.

I believe that we are asked to love our neighbor because sometimes our neighbor is the hardest to love. They can often annoy and frustrate us the most! Especially those neighbors who are rude, obnoxious and do not understand boundaries.  Often, if we can learn to love our neighbors, we can love anyone. Also, if we are not able to love our neighbor whom we can see, how can we love God whom we can not see (1John 4:20)?

It's interesting how people often do not make the connection and Christians pick and choose what bible verses they want to follow!

Currently, the person who bought out house in Florida and our previous neighbor are feuding. Ironically, they are both professing Christians. They are feuding over trees.

You see, our previous neighbor has huge trees that almost completely hang over the pool of our previous house. When we lived there, I did find the trees annoying and it was frustrating trying to keep the pool clean but I also understood that our neighbors didn't have the extra money to trim them and we didn't have the extra money to trim them so I tried to look at the positive side of things (at least I had a pool to clean leaves out of, it was much needed exercise that I wouldn't otherwise be disciplined enough to get, etc.). Also, as I cleaned the leaves out of the pool, dumping them in the trash can I kept nearby, I would offer the frustration of it as a prayer for others. Being able to offer that up as a prayer kept the peace in the neighborhood.

Well, it turns out that the new owners do not share the same sentiment. They have been scooping the leaves out of the pool and throwing them over the fence of the neighbors. Needless to say, that isn't going over so well with the neighbors and I am hearing about it as well as the rest of the neighborhood. Suddenly this peaceful neighborhood I once lived in, isn't so peaceful anymore.

Like I said before, both families are professing Christians. Now this is not a blog post about immigration but I find it ironic that my old neighbor is also very angry over the "immigration ban".

How can we love immigrants and foreigners if we can not even love our neighbor?!

No matter where we move to, there is always going to be THAT neighbor. We currently have THAT neighbor at our new home. She is a very grumpy, middle-aged woman whom doesn't seem to like life much. I keep being kind to her. Maybe eventually she will open up to me and I will find out why she is so miserable. If she doesn't though, I will keep loving her.

Even though loving our neighbor doesn't necessarily mean just the person next door, If we would all start there first, the world would probably be a lot more peaceful of a place.

I remember a story Mother Theresa once told of a Muslim woman whose family didn't have anything to eat and was starving. Mother Theresa gave her food for her family. The Muslim woman ended up giving half of the food to her neighbor. This Muslim woman proved to be a better Christian than most Christians!

If you are a Christian, Christianity isn't just a nice philosophy or idealistic notion! If we are true followers of Jesus, we are called not only to be kind but to lay our life down for others, pick up our cross and love even our enemies!






Monday, February 13, 2017

Rerouting...

This past summer, our family underwent a major life change! After living in sunny Central Florida for seventeen years, we moved to the Hoosier state. One of the most difficult challenges to living in a new place is navigating the area. This is especially hard for me because I have no sense of direction. I seem to be directionally impaired, which seems to be genetic and handed down to me by my father. We both even have a hard time getting out of parking lots and neighborhoods.

I am eternally grateful for GPS and Google Maps! I am not sure how people found their way around before these technological advances! Even with the help of Google Maps however, I still manage to get lost and turned around. Sometimes I misinterpret the map and where I am being told to turn. Somehow I always manage to head in the opposite direction of where I need to be.

Fortunately for me, the GPS gives me many chances. If I mess up and start going in the wrong direction, it will reroute and take me on a new path to get me where I need to go. It will do this limitless times for me.

God is the same way! We can often think that God has a Plan A and if we blow it, that's it! We think he will give up on us and we will never be able to be used by him. That isn't true however. God has a way of making straight our crooked paths. He is the God of second chances and limitless mercy! If we mess up our "Plan A", he will give us a "Plan B". If we mess up our "Plan B", he will give us Plan C and so on.

If we look at God's people in the bible, most of them did not follow his "Plan A". I think Mary, Jesus' mother was probably the only fully human person that followed "Plan A" (thank goodness!). Most of the others messed up. Abraham tried to make God's will happen according to his own understanding by being with Hagar, the handmaid of Sarah. King David had a child with Bathsheba and was responsible for the death of her husband. Peter denied Jesus and initially ran. I could go on and on. Mainly what they are known for however is their faithfulness, God's love for them and their willingness to repent and get back up.

I don't think we have a clue or can even begin to grasp and comprehend just how kind and merciful the Lord is! He has big plans for us and wants to use us! He also has our best interest at heart and wants to see us succeed! The key to hearing the re-routing directions and plans he has for us is to first be still, rest in him and listen. When the directions come, be ready to rely on his grace and obey!